In a little village, not too far from here, lived a farmer and his wife. The farmer was a good man, but his wife, well, she sometimes wished for a bit more excitement. She especially liked chatting with the Parson from the village church.

One day, the farmer said, "Wife, I must go to the market in the next town. I'll be gone for a day or two."
His wife pretended to be sad. "Oh, my dear husband, I shall miss you terribly!" But secretly, she was thinking, "Wonderful! Now I can invite the Parson over for a nice dinner!"

As soon as the farmer left, she sent a message to the Parson: "My husband is away! Come for dinner tonight. We'll have roasted chicken and sweet cake!"

Now, the farmer wasn't entirely sure his wife would miss him *that* much. So, on his way out of the village, he met his cousin, whose name was Hildebrand.
"Hildebrand," said the farmer, "I have a funny feeling. I wonder what my wife will do while I'm gone."
Hildebrand, who was a clever fellow, stroked his chin. "I have an idea," he said. "Go back quietly. I have a large wicker basket. You can hide inside it in the corner of your kitchen. Then you'll see what she's up to!"

The farmer thought this was a splendid, if slightly sneaky, idea. So, he crept back home and squeezed into the big basket Hildebrand brought, and Hildebrand placed it in a shadowy corner of the kitchen.

Soon, the Parson arrived, looking very pleased with himself. The wife had cooked a delicious meal.
As they ate, the wife said, "You know, Parson, my husband is a good man, but sometimes he’s a bit like… well, a bit like Old Hildebrand!" She meant he was a bit slow and boring, just like she imagined the farmer's cousin might be.
The farmer, whose ears were twitching inside the basket, thought, "So, *I'm* Old Hildebrand now, am I?"

The Parson laughed. Then he started to sing a little song:
"Oh, I wish the farmer man,
Was far across the sea,
Then I could stay and chat all day,
With his lovely wife, you see!"

The wife giggled and then she sang her own little song:
"Oh, I wish the farmer dear,
Was sleeping in his grave,
Then I'd be free, just you and me,
And no more need to save!"

Suddenly, a voice boomed from the basket in the corner:
"Oh, you wicked, wicked wife,
And Parson, shame on you!
Old Hildebrand is right here, man,
And heard all you've been through!"

The wife shrieked! The Parson nearly choked on his cake!
The basket lid flew open, and out popped the farmer, looking not at all like 'Old Hildebrand' but very much like a very cross husband!
He grabbed a sturdy stick from the corner.
"So, you wish I was far away, Parson?" he roared. "Well, I'll help you get started!"
The Parson didn't wait to hear more. He jumped up, knocking over his chair, and ran out of the house as fast as his legs could carry him, with the farmer chasing him down the lane.

As for the farmer's wife, she stood in the kitchen, looking very small and very silly. She certainly learned that day that it’s not nice to wish bad things on others, especially when "Old Hildebrand" might be listening!

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