In a sunny little village, not too far from here, lived a man named Frederick and his wife, Catherine. Frederick was a kind man, and Catherine, well, Catherine tried her best, but sometimes her ideas were a little bit mixed up!

One morning, Frederick was heading out to the fields. "My dear Catherine," he said, "I'll be hungry when I get back. Please cook some nice sausages for me, and draw a jug of fresh beer from the cellar."

"Of course, Frederick!" said Catherine. She put the sausages in a pan on the fire. While they sizzled, she went to the cellar with a jug. She turned the tap on the beer barrel, and the beer began to flow. Just then, she heard a little bark from upstairs. "Oh dear!" she thought. "The dog might eat the sausages!"

She rushed upstairs, leaving the beer tap running. Sure enough, the dog had snatched one sausage! "Naughty dog!" she cried, and chased it. But the dog was quick and ate the sausage. "Well," thought Catherine, "what's eaten is eaten." She felt a bit hungry herself, so she ate another sausage. Then the dog barked again, looking hopeful, so she gave it another. Soon, all the sausages were gone!

Suddenly, Catherine remembered the beer. She hurried to the cellar. Oh no! The beer had overflowed the jug and made a big puddle all over the cellar floor!

When Frederick came home, he asked, "Catherine, where are my sausages and beer?"
Catherine explained about the dog, and eating the sausages herself, and the beer that ran all over the cellar.
Frederick sighed. "Oh, Catherine! You shouldn't have let the dog eat them, nor eaten them all yourself, nor let all that good beer spill!" But he wasn't truly angry, because he knew Catherine didn't mean any harm.

Another day, Frederick came home with a small bag of shiny gold coins. "Catherine," he said, "we must keep this safe. While I'm out tomorrow, make sure the house is secure. Bolt the door well!"
The next day, Frederick went out. Catherine thought hard. "Secure the door... bolt the door well..." Then she had an idea! She took the big wooden door right off its hinges! "There," she said, "now it's very secure with me!" She picked up the heavy door and carried it on her back to the woods where she thought Frederick might be working.

When Frederick saw her, he was very surprised. "Catherine! What are you doing with the door?"
"You told me to secure it well," she said proudly, "so I brought it with me!"
Frederick scratched his head. "Well, since it's here, let's bury our gold coins under it for safekeeping." So they dug a hole, put the gold in, and placed the heavy door on top.

Later, some sneaky robbers came by. They saw the door lying on the ground. "Look!" whispered one. "Perhaps there's treasure under that door!"
As they tried to lift it, Frederick, who was hiding nearby with Catherine, whispered, "I wish they knew how many nails are in this door!"
One robber heard a mumble and peeked under. He saw the dark shapes of the nails. "It's a monster!" he shrieked. "It has big, sharp teeth!" The robbers got so scared they ran away as fast as they could, leaving behind their own bag of stolen gold!
Frederick and Catherine found the new bag of gold. "Well, Catherine," said Frederick, chuckling, "sometimes your strange ideas work out!"

One time, Frederick gave Catherine a basket of lovely red apples to sell at the market. On the way, Catherine thought, "How will people know these apples are good inside?" So, she cut each apple in half to show how nice and white they were. But by the time she got to the market, the cut apples had turned brown, and nobody wanted to buy them. She came home with an empty basket.

Another day, Frederick asked Catherine to take their cow to the meadow to eat fresh grass. Catherine looked up at their cottage roof. It had lovely green moss growing on it. "That moss looks like grass!" she thought. "The cow can eat up there!" So, she tied a rope to the cow, somehow managed to get the other end of the rope down the chimney, and tried to pull the cow onto the roof. The poor cow slipped, and CRASH! It fell right through the roof and landed in the kitchen!

Frederick came home to find a cow in his kitchen and a big hole in his roof. "Catherine!" he cried.
"I just wanted her to eat the roof grass!" Catherine explained.

Frederick decided they needed money to fix the roof, so he told Catherine to sell the cow. At the market, Catherine traded the cow for a heavy grindstone because a man told her it was very useful. The grindstone was so heavy to carry. Soon, she met another person who offered her a big, smooth stone for the grindstone. "This stone is prettier," thought Catherine, and made the trade. But this stone was also very heavy. As she passed a deep well, she thought, "This stone is making me so tired. If I drop it in the well, maybe the water will splash up for me to drink!" So, she dropped the stone into the well. Plop! It disappeared, and no water splashed up.

She went home with nothing. "Frederick," she said, "the cow became a grindstone, the grindstone became a pretty stone, and the pretty stone is now resting at the bottom of the well. It was very heavy!"

Frederick looked at Catherine. He shook his head, but then he smiled a little. "Oh, Catherine," he said. "You do have the most surprising adventures!"
And even though Catherine made many funny mistakes, Frederick knew she always tried her best and had a good heart. So they tidied up their cottage, fixed the roof as best they could, and lived on, with Frederick learning to give very, very clear instructions, and Catherine... well, Catherine just kept being Catherine, making every day an adventure.

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