• The Lies of Dithmarschen

    Grimm's Fairy Tales
    Listen closely, and I'll tell you about a most peculiar journey I once took. I traveled to a land where the most amazing things happened, things you might find hard to believe!

    First, I saw a cabbage. But this wasn't just any cabbage! It was so enormous, a whole troop of soldiers could march right inside it and have a picnic, with room to spare! Imagine that, a cabbage big enough for a party!

    Then, I came to a bridge. Guess what it was made of? Not wood, not stone, but a single, giant chicken bone! And it stretched right across a wide river. I tiptoed across, hoping it wouldn't wobble.

    As I walked on, I saw donkeys with wings, zipping through the sky like speedy birds! And horses that could run so fast, they left their own shadows panting behind them!

    In the rivers, the fish didn't just swim quietly. Oh no! They sang songs and told jokes, their voices bubbling up to the surface. One little fish even asked me for the time!

    And the bees! They were as big as fluffy sheep, buzzing around flowers the size of dinner plates. Nearby, there was a mountain made entirely of yummy butter, and a river flowed past it, not with water, but with sweet, sticky honey! I dipped my finger in – delicious!

    If you were hungry, you didn't need to cook. Sausages grew on trees like apples! And roasted chickens, all golden brown, would fly right into your mouth if you just opened it wide and said, "Ahhh!"

    Want to catch a bird? No need for a net! Just whistle a happy tune, and they'd fly right into your pocket, ready to be your friend.

    And if you needed some coins, you just had to find the right tree, because money grew on branches like shiny leaves! Pennies, nickels, and dimes, all ripe for the picking.

    I even met a man whose beard was so long, he used it as a blanket at night and a rope to climb trees during the day! He said it was very convenient.

    Now, you might think this all sounds a bit too fantastical, a bit too silly to be true. And perhaps it is! But I saw it all with my own eyes. And if you don't believe me, well, maybe you should go to that land yourself and see if you can find even sillier things!

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